We’ve all been there – the relationship has ended, it seemed like the right thing to do, but now that the feelings have cooled, you’re wondering whether you made the right decision. Sometimes we can get ahead of ourselves, and say or do some things we didn’t mean to. Getting back together becomes a possibility, and suddenly, you remember all the good times you had together. But, how do you know when it’s time to give love a second chance?
Why Did You Break Up?
This is one of the most important questions to answer before you decide whether to give it another go. Is it a recurring behavior? Is it something that’s going to be a problem going forward? You want to make sure that the reason you broke up is clear to both of you and find a way to make it work. One-time quarrels and events can be easy to work on, but changing someone’s personality traits is not something you want to do.
How Often Did You Fight?
Research shows that fighting might not be such a bad thing – it may even benefit your relationship in the long run. However, certain interaction patterns in relationships do affect your long-term happiness: stubbornness, defensiveness (including whining), and withdrawal are all related to relationship deterioration. Look for these signs and address them before you decide to give love a second chance.
How Engaged Are You?
Couples often stay together even when they are not happy, because of their loyalty and a sense of obligation to their partner. However, this loyalty doesn’t always translate to a behavior needed to keep a relationship alive. Studies show that the key to maintaining a relationship is an active engagement in such behaviors – just wanting for the relationship to continue isn’t enough. Ask yourself if you’re both equally invested and willing to work on maintaining your relationship.
Although you might be looking at your significant other through rose-colored glasses, try to rationalize things and look at them objectively. If you want to give love a second chance, ask yourself some of these questions and make a rational decision you won’t regret.